Big BAN theory ;)

Oh, yes, news reading folks.. Boris Johnson beat dear old Ken Livingstone(talk about being stuck in the past, his site has not been updated since the elections !! Past glory perhaps ??) to the coveted Mayor of London position - that's history of sorts now. Ah, of course, he was ambitious enough to make a "spirited" tall order ! And that they claim was from the 01st of June this year..

Lets get closer to the present - yesterday ! Spotted a burly fella occupying 1.75 seats (when his hands were raised !) showing off a new can of Stella Artois to everyone who cared. Maybe, he was simply visiting Earth and was curious about gravity and it's effects when a beer can is tilted at a certain angle and also possibly wanted to avoid the resultant mess it could create to our lovely dirty carriage floor ?? You never know !!

The thing is am not the only one to witness it and this isn't the first time either.. A CCTV infested country which captures likes of me legally(or so they say..) from the time I leave home to the time am back behind my locked(double bolted given the soaring crime rate in the City) doors, simply does nothing to enforce even a blatant violation ! Blimey, they are now debating how to punish anyone they choose to but under a pretext :o) ! Nothing is impossible my teacher said, how right she was !

No Reservations :)

Here is one before the weekend and the party and the works creep on me... Guys, all working and non-working (including those pretending to) colleagues need a break, so how different can abnormal ME be ?? You got it ! Not far behind at all.. so enjoy this one while I go take myself for a walk soon in Lotus Land :o) ! Nah, green is not an allowed shade on this blog...

A good friend kindly forwarded this link, after having had her fair share of laughter am sure. As an avid reader of laughter columns of Readers Digest, I pass it on to you having myself cracked my side -

ASKING A GIRL OUT - BOLLYWOOD ISHTYLE !!

Expect the Unexpected !

Yeah.. I believe this one to be absolutely true.. !!

All of us wage our own battle(s) of WaterLoo (hehe, I loved coining this one..) everyday and so while on a mission to answer mine, see what I spotted !

Got your mind working like mine :p :p ??

Marketing a Dollar !

Hey, was over at a friend's place the other day and was having a casual chat with her hubby. He has been doing part time MBA from a top notch University and full of new ideas, strong opinions and loads of information from studying a variety of topics - hmmm, am reminded of my school days where something was learned every day to add to my knowledge database - almost history now ;) !

On brushing upon the US economy and weakening Dollar, he handed me a dollar and said, 'In Marketing terms Dollar is still not so weak..it is powerful !' He was quite right and you can see it for yourself below -

Obviously, it's not what you say but how you say what you say that matters ! In the right hands, you can see how far the Dollar can go :o) !

Mind your Ps and Qs !

Bus journeys make for such educative trips..and so what did it teach me yesterday ?? NO Thanks..literally.

Having made a short trip on the Big Red Bus from home to home(well, friend's house, also my second home !), as my habit I paused before getting off to wave and thank the bus driver. A rude voice from behind, 'He's been paid enough just get on will ya !' RIGHT. A world where people do not forget but do not WANT to thank at all - looks like we are soon getting there ! Time for me to act ! I stopped and therefore stopping everyone behind me including lets say Mr.Rude X. Calmly to the impatient Rude X I said, 'Not everyone has to see a thankless day having helped the likes of you, I can add some cheer.'

Mr.Rude X could not have cared less, he muttered something under his breath as he finally managed to get off and run towards the station..but all was not lost ! I could see a few others wave and say THANKS as they got off the bus.. ah, world goes on you see..

Spotted..

an AD urging everyone makes a holiday getaway...

'Dinner will be served... when the fish decide to bite..'

Now now, I have no intention of dieting while on holiday and am not so mentally sick as to wait for a fish to decide to end its life before I can grab a bite !!

Bah.. humbug !

Whoever said 'penny for your thoughts..' !!

I subscribe to Martin's expert tips in hope of saving a few quid. One of his nerdy notes jumped at me and cheered me up to realize we are all(well, almost ALL) millionaires !! Don't be surprised.. my discovery is for everyone to share..

Here is the nerdy note -
"Being a millionaire doesn’t mean you’re rich. The easy way is to convert £55 into 1,000,000 Iranian Rials or Indonesian Rupiah, or £31 for a million Vietnamese Dong. Sadly Zimbabwe's terrible turmoil has caused hyperinflation, meaning it’d cost only 0.012p for a million of its Dollars."

Yippeee, I could flip a few pennies rather than rack my brains to trick Chris Tarrant into signing the cheque for the magical number..

Update - not outdated just yet !

Hello everyone living out there and still knocking this blog roll in hope of a new post - No, the papers have not carried an article about my demise/assylum status/ mysterious disappearance ! On the contrary have even managed to steal an award at work - between you and me, I strongly believe it to be a case of identity mixup of sorts but heck it gives me an excuse anyways, so why complain :p !!

I am brimming over with ideas to share, so expect me to return real soon.. until then, WATCH THIS SPACE...

Human Touch !

Ah, still thinking I ceased to exist ?? About time I changed such an opinion. Am here to announce my re-incarnation yet again :o) !

Folks, workaholic me took a mini break and made a beeline to certain other parts of Europe last few weeks. Oh yes, even the raising Euro could not deter my trip ! No, am not a rare nut, there are more of my kind and I call them friends. So, here we were hustled into a car with a friend from US assuming steering control having by now been totally accustomed to driving on the 'other' side as I diplomatically refrain the use of 'wrong' here. With no fancy navigation units to hook onto, we relied on good old signboards(which by the way were not seen much in number as a confession) to helps us reach our destination . Expected result - lunch in Belgium. Fat chance. We understood why navigation units are such popular gadgets by losing way in a little while. Obviously, we now start asking for directions. As a rule while asking help when lost, I have noticed people shrug their shoulders and walk along, people who stare into space trying to read the constellation and some mysterious way by which that helps them identify the route, people who rattle off with 'left', 'right', 'left again', 'center' and finally 'then ask..'.. but the response we were meted out actually humbled me(yeah, now that's a real hard one to happen)

The lady in the 4x4, rolled down her window, listened us out and spoke her native Dutch. What followed was more an understanding of body and sign language but well at least we knew which direction to turn into now ! So, happily we move forward following the other cars on the road. In a little while, the 4x4 lady pulled ahead of us, hopping off her vehicle came running towards us, pointed us the Highway we had been trying to unsuccessfully locate before rushing to her car as the lights flashed green from red.

Am sure glad there are still people around to whom human touch matters ! Am sure anyone travelling the tube would nod for me :o) !

Meet the Parents !

When a good friend plans a vacation home it's time for a happy smile. If the good friend taking a break hails from the same city it's time to rejoice - after all, you can send stuff home and receive for free :D !

So while helping my friend with her shopping last week, we landed here looking for an iPod. Standing next to the catalogue rack and browsing while she goes off to pay and collect, I noticed a little boy arguing with his mum. He seemed absolutely upset at his wishes not being granted and scowled every time his mum said NO, a little louder. Running a house is no simple task, so she leaves him alone to attend to more pressing issues while the child unhappily watches few customers collecting their PSPs and walking out in excitement. Overcome by sudden grief which lugged and tugged at his little heart, he reacted by succumbing involuntarily(???) to a berserk moment by lifting his tiny leg and KICKING ME !!!!!!!!!!! Dropping the Mothers Day catalogue which no more attracted any interest, I turn to face this child. I looked at him sternly as he continued to scowl warning him of consequences. He seemed least interested in my sermon, so decided it's time the mum was brought into picture. I walked over to her and explained her sons' action as well my reaction. She was quick to apologise which kind of eased the situation but then let her son go without reprimand.

What is it that stops us from pointing the right from wrong to our children ?? Agreed, we are all under pressure from external factors, more than our folks did but does it justify in anyway when we fail parenting ?? No wonder we see children all around us with access to state of the art luxuries but lack even a decent amount of courtesy and respect ! So, who is failing whom ??!!

In dependence is Independence !

Not all Fridays bring a smile it seems as was the lesson learnt last week, not to mention of the one too many life has been teaching me graciously for a while now :o) !

Whoever coined the phrase Vasudhaiva Kutumbikam must be as old or near extinct as the language itself. Or perhaps again, it's a distinct disadvantage of proudly belonging to a country which has been for centuries fuelling the economies of so called great nations. All the same, Visas are a dreaded nightmare reoccurring my way often for my liking in the recent times. Ah, but we can endure all and more for friends !

So there it was, a rise and shine early Friday morning that saw me check re-check arrange re-arrange documents for a visa interview scheduled in the City to be followed by a non-stop hop off and hop on routine on public transport to reach my workplace far away from City, made worse by an over booked outlook calendar :( ! Is it a surprise at all if am to mention my absolute detest for rush hour traffic especially on the Tube which has now taken a political turn with Leaders chiming in chorus about the ambitious expansion plans in their kitty to ease commuter inconvenience if elected.. ah, as if we ever would fall for such a silly gimmick ! Well, packed in the carriage of this train where opening my newspaper seemed an atrocious act of space grabbing, was fighting to stay near the doors to make a quick exit when a fellow-desi struggling quite like me moved over with a smile. Time has caused the cautious in me to be more active so haltingly I return half a smile. "Mallu..??". Thought quite didn't catch that until he repeated loud enough for my senses to decipher this time, "You are Malayalee, right ??". Squaring hunched up shoulders with my trademark folded-arms-stony-glance I respond, 'No, Indian.' What followed was amusing - he shrugged muttering 'that's ok..', relocated to other corner of the carriage until we pulled into a station where he alighted walking past me like I existed but invisibly.
And we blame the British for their Divide and Rule policy !!

Heal the World !

Uh..been away a bit, haven't I ?? Blame it on dog days at work which a coolie grins and bears to receive some meager wage rewards. Afterall, there is more than one mouth to feed..

So this evening happens to be yet another one where the mind is thinking of those numerous lines of code which produced a simple result - error; the eyes peering out of the bus window yet not registering; the body crying out silently still hoping to be heard of it's disdain at having to sleep irregular hours on account of the mind not being able to fix the code. Predictably it's a Bridget Jone's mood !

As the bus pulled over at a stop and passengers alighted/disembarked on journies, my eyes wandered and fixed on a figure, slowly bringing the old lady into sharp focus. She was panting but still ain't no quitter. Carrying her shopping bags, half buckling under their weight, she hastened towards the bus with every ounce of energy her slender frame could muster. I could make out the lines on her face, her wrinkled skin and her desperation to not miss this bus - probably she had a reason to try so hard.

Just as she nearly made it to the bus, just as she came up to the big swinging doors and slightly lifted one leg to try and board, the driver slammed the doors shut. They looked at each other for a brief moment - stoic, stony glance versus an indignant yet pleading eyes. The bus moved on..leaving her behind.

I simply cannot understand people.. the indifference, uncompassion and the insensitivity the soul is capable of ! Probably I should give myself some rest, might wake up to see a world somehow better(am I to believe my own words ??) or atleast a resolution to something 'BUG'ging me..

Not just the cat has nine lives !

Standing on the busy station platform crowded with the daily commuters, it was just another Monday to work.. The two white pigeons that dared defy rules cozily nestling against each other claiming their space on the railway track attracted all my attention. I veered a tad close to the platform edge, smile on my face, to have a better look. Call it instinct, call it sheer luck or call it an act of God.. something made me look up in time to notice the fast approaching train and I pulled back hurriedly as the train sped by.. At the precise moment when the last carriage passed me, the public announcement system blared, 'The train now approaching platform no.4 does not stop here, please stand well behind the edge of platform no.4..'

Can't help but think caution may or may not work but precaution will..

Day One.. part Three

Speak..Indian language !
Absolutely gobsmacked I blink at the mobile he thrust at me.. The situation was getting a bit too out of hand for my liking..
TTS: Please ask her to come here soon.
You are marked, I tell myself. Resigning myself to the then current circumstances, I speak into the phone,
Hello..?? Helloo ??
The palm tree bathed in sunset screen saver stared at me once again..
"Sorry, looks like the call got disconnected.. we are back to the waiting game !"
TTS seemed certainly far from happy and in no mood for games, understandably.
Yoo-hoo..!! My Gate info flashed on the display board screen and lit up my face.. scram now, says inner voice.
I face TTS to break the news. "Sorry again, but I need to move on. Incidentally am boarding the Los Angeles flight too but the one leaving before Shivani's does.. I would have offered to hand this mobile over to the cabin crew to announce and pass on had we been on the same flight but obviously it does not seem the case ! I need to rush, so wish you Happy Holidays..good bye.."
Reluctantly TTS mumbles safe flight and good vacation in return
Am free !! I start walking towards my Gate with a lil spring in my step.. vacation is happening afterall..

Listen up people, I played my part with all sincerity mean me could muster. Had been on the edge ever since morning when the airline's ground staff approached me to ask if I would be willing to give up my seat for an alternate flight and $1200(commercialism at its confusing heights!) - ah, everything in this world comes with a price tag, so did my vacation..but the tag would make it loud and clear it's priceless ! I was meaning to meet a good friend after a long time..years that might have even convinced us we have gone seperate ways. In the name of friendship, it was imperitive I board that flight.. and leave no stones unturned at that. So off I go..looking for directions to my Gate..

At this point in time, ideally I believe us to be on the same page. Did Shivani make it to Terminal 3 in time ?? Did she manage to locate TTS.. did they both meet ?? Did she unite with her Motorola mobile ?? Na tum jaano na hum..but we are the kind who love happy endings and therefore hope so tad emotionally..

Life is short, sweet AND full of surprises.. so doston, picture abhi bhi baaki hai.. ;) !

Day One.. part Two

Do you know to use a Motorola mobile ??
I must have started looking way beyond my years already or it was the way I dressed - better work on both ! Or simply, he was wearing wrong pair of glasses.
I nod in reply. Flipping open the Motorola V3, I dismiss the palm tree bathed in sunset screen saver to access address book.
Hello..??
I had found, zeroed in and dialled India-Home.
"Hi..uh, this is a call from er, Heathrow Terminal 3, I believe Shivani lost her mobile and am wondering if possibly there is someway we can reach thru to her. She can collect her mobile from the security over here.."
Voice at the other end: I am her sister here. She called to inform us about her lost mobile..she is waiting to board the 11.00AM flight to Los Angeles(uh, am possibly tampering with info here :p)..
I was unsure of what now. "Thanks, I will keep the official here informed and in the meantime if Shivani is to ring you back, do let her know her mobile is safe and can be collected.."
Earnestly, I relay entire conversation to TTS, who now scans the crowd expectantly but to my unease does not budge my side. Am now serious about the tee on my next vacation.
We heard the mobile in question ring, jolting us both. TTS hurriedly flips open the instrument, fumbles with the controls before finally speaking into it..
TTS: Hello..??
TTS: Yes, can you please collect it from me.. meet me inside Terminal 3..
His sense of humour, to me, takes the cake.. Terminal 3 spans 1000's of square feet, lined with many number of duty free shops, with innumerable passengers milling about shopping and waiting for Gate info on their respective flights. I had to intervene on compassion grounds..
"Hey, do you reckon mentioning the Dixons in Terminal 3 as your location could help her perhaps ??"
Could not help but strongly believe I have spoken out aloud to myself.
More minutes pass. I impatiently glance at the Gate information board, pocketing my mp3 - it had somehow lost it's appeal. TTS has not moved places at all, only shifted his legs.
Mobile rings once again but we are not jolted - I had half expected a dozen calls by then !
TTS: Hello.. yes, am still in Terminal 3. Please come and collect your mobile soon.
Looks like TTS is a person who stands by his word - metaphorically and actually too ! It takes all kinds of people to make the world and by now was glad am not Shivani but me !

We both need a break now - reliving such an experience takes courage, energy and a fridge raid ! Come back if you want more..

Day One.. part One.

Ah..don't you love to be on a vacation ?? The luxury of extra sleep, additional dream time, goodbye to cooking, forget those calories are all part of the pamper yourself package teaching you to spend rather than save.

Awaiting my gate information, I was happily tuning into the mp3 when I heard a voice, "Shivani ??"(yeah, obviously I changed the name).. I looked up from my reverie enquiringly at the Terminal 3 Security towering over me. "Indian ??", he continued shooting questions. "Yes, but am not Shivani", I answered thinking if ma had ever thought of such nice ones before calling me names officially :p !
TTS(Towering Terminal Security): Shivani lost her mobile..
Seems Hilary is losing the election. So ??
I stared at him, clueless at why am being fed such classified information.
TTS: Can you speak ??
Excuse me ! One of us is deaf, possibly more, definitely dumb..and it's not ME.
TTS: Can you speak ??
But this time he pointed to the mobile in his hand, driving home the message.
I nodded, "Uh, whom do you want me to speak to ??" Perhaps I should wear a Tee that announces, 'Stay away.. 1st day of vacation' perhaps ??
TTS: finally breaks away from his one liners but launches into rapid sentences.. You can call someone in India, her home. She has reported the mobile as lost and needs to be passed the message it can be collected from me here in Terminal 3.
He missed the point completely..am now sure about his score in History lessons. India does not speak ONE but atleast 22 languages and chances are I might blink and make anyone at Shivani's home blink too ! But khair ek hindustani hi dusre hindustani ke kaam aa sakta hai.. all around the world Indians speak one language - English. I reached out for the mobile.

Ah, caught your curiosity, did I ?? Watch this space for more guys..

Glory be..

Sacrifice.. always thought this to be a powerfully sensitive word until I happened to read this article which proved me wrong and shattered my misconception. The author has made his point, loud and clear and Bips has done it again - hogged the limelight for her unselfish self !

AND to think there are soldiers in the army actually sacrificing their lives but do not get mentioned any place..what a bunch of losers!! Well, such is life I say !

Good ol' times !

Snoozing the alarm, a pair of groggy eyes flutter open trying to manually focus in the dark. 06.30AM. Pitch black windows. Ah, usual around this time of the year. Shrugging off the sheets, feet firmly on the ground, one goes about the morning routine in an ever so mechanical fashion. WHERE did the toothbrush disappear ?? Nevermind. WHAT happened to the comb ?? No worries. Grabbing the jacket with one hand and b'fast with the other, I next make haste to find my shoes which having worn is realized to be the wrong pair. White trainers never go well with black blazers. Stumbling onto the street, the crack of dawn is finally visible to the naked eye and so is the big Red Bus.. whoa, I almost forgot the timings ! Dashing down the road towards the bus stop with the chill wind blowing life into my senses, one awakens to be enlightened.. 'I am back.. it's all going to be normal..'

Apologies for my rude disappearance patrons.. with such insolence as not to leave behind a note informing my absence. Perhaps I was hoping secretly, there would still be traffic showing on my statcounter.. To confess, I took a break this festival season to Columbus only knows where in search of the Sun.. reality caught up with me somehow forcing me to find my way back but a settling in time is mandatory it seems.

Rukhavat ke liye khet hain but will soon come back to bug you all as always..